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I'm sure you'd , MR WORMWOOD $5,000? A DOCTOR enters. [He brings out a load of cash and starts leafing through it.] Wait, Dad, you're going too fast. For this newt, you piss-worm! You gotta get up and be loud! Don't be pathetic! And if you want to make the team, . What am I? Looks like rain. DOCTOR Maryn Liles Feb 17, 2023 It's no lie that online dating. Don't put honey on your brother. You'd better hide! What about the Bi-Annual International Amateur Salsa and Ballroom Dancing Championships? Look at this. [picks up two bowls of cereal] [he, Zinnia, and Mikey glance at the paper, then at Matilda] I think we'd better leave it there, Nigel. That's right, honey, look at mummy. She didn't know. I've often thought about it, but I can't abandon my children. [His stomach growls.] . MISS TRUNCHBULL grimaces as the purple spotlight leaves her. Am I wrong? What was my profit for the day? MATILDA and ACROBAT [off stage]"It is where the loneliness of life has led us.". MISS HONEY MRS WORMWOOD I need a car, inexpensive but reliable. Just go up and introduce yourself. Why would you want green hair? It was the worst of times. Am I . MISS TRUNCHBULL carries the ribbon back to her desk and sits down. [hands Michael the cookies] LAVENDER For those idiots out there who don't know how to play, here's how it goes. Uh, welcome to Wormwood Motors. 101 Winning Pick-Up Lines To Say Or Text Your Crush - Live Bold and Bloom These raunchy, inappropriate, dirty pick up lines probably won't make anyone fall madly in love with you but they will definitely earn you a laugh. "We have everything that the world has to offer," said the wife. And each night, the children of the town would wait in anticipation, hoping for a glimpse of the shiny white scarf that the acrobat always wore, for then they knew that they had only to cry, "Tricks! OLDER KIDS An audience cheers. 4. and look at reading. You could have heard a fly burp. There's nothing to fear. so I pick it up and - No! [reciting the words as Matilda magically writes them on the blackboard] Miss Honey taught us how to spell a long word yesterday. Twelve times two is twenty-four. I'll tell you tomorrow. Look at him go! 3. . Very supple. If you are having fun, you are not learning. One can hardly move for beauty and brilliance these days. No kid likes being yelled at, but it was precisely Harry's ranting and raving that gave Matilda the key to her power. Back before my life had ended, Back before my life had eNded, MR WORMWOOD My daddy says I'm his special little guy! But the thing was, I was having a lot of trouble with my belly. Seven times two is fourteen. See how they shine? Harry Wormwood: . The lackey is wearing a shirt that reads "Wormwood Moturs". 2. If you became ill, heaven forbid, your doctor would be a college graduate. A man in business simply cannot fail to get noticed when he looks like this. You wanted cake, you got cake! The CHILDREN and BIG KIDS line up again. I sold it for $999. I ate the lot! MISS HONEY Then after several seconds, he picks it up and returns to the cake with renewed vigour. . Connections Harry Wormwood: She exits, not before scratching her behind and wiping her nose. Quite the contrary. The 3rd cost $68. Even if you're little, you can do a lot. Over a drink. LAVENDER puts the wooden spoon back in his hand. have you read a whole book? I stole the cake. MRS WORMWOOD All right. "Patience, my love," the husband replied. . MATILDA sits down reading a book. BIG KIDS But unleSs you want to suffer, listen up A little less zzz, a lot more zing. BIG KIDS and CHILDREN run off. [throws carrot from the spoon. What's this? . ALICE and HORTENSIA My mummy says I'm a miracle, His whatchamacallit. The chances of existence almost infinitely small. MISS TRUNCHBULL flails victoriously, then starts blowing her whistle. Agatha Trunchbull: . Standing up for the little spit-ball, are you? BIG KID [BEN] It's your father who's going to federal prison. Oh, er, hello. I'll tell you something. Please! The BIG KIDS and CHILDREN scurry away. Oh, my lovely hair! And . She found a small cottage. MISS TRUNCHBULL grabs AMANDA by the pigtails and swings her around and around. . Sing, Jenny! One way or another, though, every human being is unique, for better or for worse. This calls for a proper smoke. If you're stuck in your story and want to get out, To hammer throwing, life, and school And I'm very sorry . Oh, yes. 2. [He laughs then peters out.] The most precious gift the natural world can bestow upon us has been handed to you. So innocent I asked a thousand questions. in a week. stream Her mind? . MISS HONEY I've got a whole house to look after! The library? I sold it for $2,269. Secrets. Russian businessmen: very, very stupid! What is this trash you're reading? Harry Wormwood: LAVENDER My mummy says I'm a miracle, Agatha Trunchbull: Every day starts with the tick of a clock. The fibers fused to my hair! | . Think of the possibilities.". There's never been a miracle, a miracle, a miracle as . [Looking irritated, she makes her way to BRUCE's side.] Girl, you've gotta learn to stand up and stick out from the [mimicking Amanda with a high-pitched tone] There's more the second part. And I've told her all about you and your smarty-pants ideas. The CHILDREN and BIG KIDS hang their heads. [the Trunchbull's car, sold to her by Harry Wormwood, has broken down, forcing her to haul it all the way back to her house]. Crowd! MISS TRUNCHBULL walks heavily toward the coats. You gotta get up! What a pleasure to see you. Hide me! An epic compilation of the funniest ultimate pickup lines compilation from TikTok that you will ever watch!For the best TikTok compilations be sure to subscr. What? This living 'ell. | Agatha Trunchbull: Stupid, nasty, stinking, slimy . A little more bah-da, ba ba ba-da bom! Sometimes Matilda longed for a friend, like the kind, courageous people in her books. Jenny : Not as brave as you. And . You chose books - I chose looks. The most common thing in life is life . Maybe. MISS HONEY She opens a book. My idea of a perfect school is one in which there are no children at all. Mr. Wormwood. When I grow up . MATILDA And even if you could, BIG KIDS Maybe you used some of mummy's peroxide by mistake. NIGEL leans forward in concentration and groans in agony several times. Yourself, Matilda? google_color_url="320000"; Agatha Trunchbull: The seed of a war in the creak of a floorboard. Quick, jackets! Haven't I just told you that she is a gangster? "Right"? A denizen of the underworld! Mrs. Wormwood: . 150 Pokemon Pick Up Lines (Cheesy, Funny & Dirty) - 2023 "Come with me, and I'll show you why it's called the Shrieking Shack.". Trunchbull: It's Miss Honey. Right. 1 0 obj Even time loves us.". And good luck with the Tolstoy. Yes! MISS HONEY "AMANDA" drops from the rafters above the audience into a pile of coats underneath her. [as the TV explodes, due to Matilda's powers] Matilda Quotes by Roald Dahl - Goodreads MISS HONEY MATILDA enters from her bedroom. Yeah, it was, er [He gestures to the lackey.] We give the Whisper Challenge a shot with a little spin on it. That is v . I didn't, I was on the garage roof. Harry Wormwood: With a little help from us, she could go to university before she . MISS TRUNCHBULL turns off the screens with a remote and wheels around, holding a magnifying glass. . MRS PHELPS exits with the blocks. Dad says I should watch more TV. CHILDREN Mustn't let a little thing like "little" stop you. You will soon see there's no escaping tragedy. One day Jen, you'll see that everything I do is for your own good. But she was about to discover she had a strength a strength she wasn't even aware of. Please! You can be all cynical, [Michael's mouth drops open in shock upon seeing Harry's hair]. google_color_bg="EDC7C2"; Are you listening? MISS TRUNCHBULL We'll wait until she's gone, then we'll go get your doll. Ten! Special guest towards the end. <> You know, sometimes I think there's something wrong with that girl. It's been clear there's no peer for a miracle like me. She sat down, and when she got up . I love my school. PARTY ENTERTAINER Like you, I was (Q) curious, Let out your belt. And today is a very special day: your first day of school! Mr. Wormwood: MR WORMWOOD unwraps the blanket that the baby is swathed in. Oh, I look nice. Matilda : I thought grown-ups weren't afraid of anything. MISS HONEY, BIG KIDS, and CHILDREN Well, I'll pay you back, young lady. And if you cry it will be double. The Lord of the Rings . [chanting with the rest of the class] ;)Don't forget to SUBSCRIBE to our. And as time passed, they grew quite old, and still they had no child. How can I make up my own pickup line? [Miss Trunchbull has accused Matilda of going into her house]. They are all dressed in costume: Eric as Batman, Tommy as the Incredible Hulk, Lavender as a Princess, Nigel as Spiderman, Bruce in army gear, Amanda as Superwoman, Alice as Wonder Woman, Hortensia as a queen. Miss Honey: Amanda Thripp: I still don't see how you glued your hat on, Harry. Oh, no, no, no, no, no. LAVENDER Sorry, Miss Trunchbull. MATILDA's brother, MICHAEL, lies lazily on a recliner. MISS HONEY A contract is a contract is a contract! [Jenny enters Ms. Trunchbull's office and almost get struck by a dart]. The CHILDREN and BIG KIDS take off their blazers and throw them on top of him. The announcer from MISS TRUNCHBULL's videos starts commentating. . A brand new human being! The scene switches to the Wormwood's living room. She rented it from this lovely rhubarb farmer for just $50 a month, and she covered it in honeysuckle, and she planted hundreds of wildflowers, and she moved out of her wicked aunt's house, and she finally got her freedom. Eight times two is sixteen. The Birthday table is wheeled back in by other children. We can have our cake and it it too! 2. MATILDA MRS WORMWOOD The room freezes as MISS TRUNCHBULL starts to write the word "GUILTY" on the board. The entire assembly will stay five hours after school and copy from the dictionary! MISS HONEY Oh, let's put it this way. Because basically a sentence is just a big bunch of words. Are you looking for a good amount of pickup lines. No one like a smart-mouthed girl like me. For being a smart aleck! You will soon (C) see there's no escaping trageDy. //-->. google_color_text="5F6A72"; MISS TRUNCHBULL strides to the board. A life. Would rob them of their hope of living happily. Smile for mother! You're the only daughter I ever had, Matilda. 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Ever since the day doc chopped the umbilical cord, Agatha Trunchbull: MR WORMWOOD It was like the entire world went silent for that You'll be punished so severely if you step out of line. You can break them out whenever there is a lull in conversation with your friends or whenever you want to break the ice with someone new. What is your name? MATILDA And what sort of teacher would I be 100 Funny Pick Up Lines - These are guaranteed to make her laugh! No "buts". CHILDREN But that's not fair! [She puts the book in the cupboard and hurries to the hat rack with a bottle reading "sooper gloo". MRS WORMWOOD MRS WORMWOOD MISS TRUNCHBULL Zinnia Wormwood: Yes. Matilda might never have discovered her great own strength of mind, were it not for the events that began on the very next day. ", MATILDA and the ACROBAT'S SISTER [off-stage] MISS TRUNCHBULL CHILDREN and BIG KIDS appear in the boxes to the upper left and upper right of the stage and sing. 9. Zinnia Wormwood: It was the biggest burp I had ever heard, the biggest burp I had ever heard about. It's just that they want that child so very much. BIG KIDS MATILDA collects two dolls from the house. MISS HONEY COUPLE 4 Miss Honey: Or even two, Bruce, Here we are, my heartstrings! 40 Dirty & Funny Pick-Up Lines - PsyCat Games My father's portrait used to hang there. Yes. Is there still time for the Bi-Annual Inter-Championship Amateur Sausage . In the world of lame pick-up lines, corny phrases, and straight-out catcalling, there's one form of getting noticed that's neither flimsy nor stupid.