But I don't see the need to borrow trouble by telling your boyfriend if you have learned your lesson and know you will never do something like that again. I'm not married nor have I ever been married. That's what it takes to have a Grade A romance that never dies. I waited for the right time ?? Alcohol does not change that fact. ;-)). For your information, I have only the *one* bottom and and it doesn't ever tend to leave tracks (- speak for yerself!) My opinion, fwiw, is that what you did was not that bad. I kissed another man four years ago. Then I ordered taxis, woke up the other girl and we left. I Kissed Another Guy When I Was Drunk, Should I Tell My Boyfriend? But maybe I should have My thoughts are that he has been persuing her. Personally, if nothing happened apart from him buying drinks and giving you a ride home, then I wouldnt have told at all. Wife of 8 years straddled and flirted with my friend last night while drunk My Girlfriend Kissed Another Guy whilst Black-Out Drunk. :-). Take it away, expand if you please! You can even introduce is as you 'having something to tell him that you're very proud of yourself over and wholly expect will make him proud of you too'..such as: If it were my husband, I would be upset too, because that would be so out of character for the man I know. Before you close I'd like to say that I totally agree with you. Your Drinking Behaviour. Spoiler alert: Not that different from kissing a girl, only they dont fancy them. But we have spoken since about it a lot. Is kissing someone else when drunk cheating? This post is probably the most intelligent and insightful posts Ive seen on this site. Whoops. They need to hold people more accountable to commitment. I sent the guy packing with a friendly piss-take (whilst deliberately flashing my ring), and then told hubbie the minute I got home. Carl Jung said that if you're dreaming of a stranger of the opposite sex, it usually means your psyche is tapping into your inner man or inner woman. 99% of us in this situation would do exactly as SUSIEQDD posted. Tl;dr: why do I feel guilty after ending things with a guy who grabbed my ass during our first kiss? Maybe you didnt deliberately set out to kiss him or her, but you feel guilty about the kiss because you realize you always wanted to kiss that person, but were afraid to kiss because you harbored hidden feelings for that person. But I'll let you off because that was a MacResponse whereas 'a lot to take in', i.e. I have to admire the guy for realizing that he was putting a marriage at risk, and backed away. However for the next time please be careful and never do such a blunder because he's a gem and you should not lose him just for your stupid or foolish acts .i mean any sophisticated or a ONE MAN WOMAN (a proud title for me :) and hopflly for u too ) wont like to stress her relatn or leave a man whom she loves or take him in a position where he might leave ? If you are separated, you aren't doing anything wrong. If it were me, I would contact her, & let her know that I didn't appreciate her actions. I believe, on the other hand, that if you got drunk and kissed someone because you were drunk and you had no feelings for the other person, there is no point in confessing about that kiss because a confession could cause trouble over nothing. I appreciate you taking the time to reply to me, I can see you feel very passionate about infidelity, however, on this occassion I won't be taking your advice. Talk About Family, Marriage and Relationships, My magic wand would remove shame from sexuality for all! [3] you couldn't extend to him the same courtesy he'd already extended to *you* (i.e. Ill bet you got drunk on purpose because you wanted to kiss him/her.. 14 Effective Ways To Get Over The Guilt Of Cheating - A Conscious Rethink But, I did find out that I was attracted to my piano teacher. The 2 Most Psychologically Incisive Films of 2022, The Surprising Role of Empathy in Traumatic Bonding. We kissed for maybe 5 minutes, or maybe less, I don't know. 5. I did for a second *start* to kiss him backbut only because I was so completely off my head at that point (I'm talking room starting to spin) as was he, actually, which is probably why it occurred- well, NEARLY occurred in the first place, so don't worry about that bit but the second I did, I came to my senses and told him NO WAY JOSE!!! 3. Myself and the man were sitting next to each other on the couch, and the other woman was sitting on another couch at the other side of the room. What would people say if she'd slept with someone else? I kissed another girl while black out drunk, dont remember a thing. And has also started crying for no reason when things are going well between us. It's good you feel guilty, that means your not cheating pond scum. That is what separates the women from the girls. It didn't feel real. And, he did little favors for me. If I ws on ur place I would never have told him because he loves me so much and respect me so much and really trust me like anything and if you are guilty and try to relieve ur guilt by telling him still doesn't prove to be beneficial for you and other than that it creates a doubt in his heart that would be very mych lowering The respect he has in his heart for you. It sounds simple, but if you think you know how to apologize effectively, you are likely wrong. I think its interesting that you put in the innocent and the guilty kiss. Nooooo, surely not. We were good friends for a few years and have dated in the past but nothing serious. Houston, well, whaddayaknow - I'M PREGNANT! Im also pleased that you agreed with my argument as to when to fess up and when to keep your mouth shut. I can't get into his FB directly but I accessed his hotmail and read the notification. ;-)), Back too Ya My Sistah from another mother!! But fine, then 'It's not what you do, it's the way that you do it': give him the truth *cleverly*. How Psychologically Conditioned Rats Are Defusing Landmines, The Innate Intelligence Observed in the Dying Process. My thread is called Hurt and Confused. However, before you choose option 3, you need to talk to the person you kissed when you are sober again and make sure that the other person has strong feelings for you, too. I rang the guy and said ' oh wow, so last night, that really happened, what the hell where we at? ' I've been cheated on just recently and I cannot imagine how awful it would be if he didn't own up and tell me. Well you need to figure that out and fast. I wish I told my wife, but she found out because in my browsing history I had searched should I tell my wife I kissed a girl when drunk. Slaying suspect pleads guilty | News, Sports, Jobs - Altoona Mirror 3. If the reaction isnt strong, then maybe its okay to confess. Yes, I think if your boyfriend thinks his girl or boy or whatever is gonna be loyal to them even under the influence. I kissed another man four years ago. this guy only tried to kiss you so as far as you cheating on him there is no and your appropriate response was toback away and leave the guy standing. I don't see any good coming from me confessing, only hurt and upset and doubt, and think my time would be better spent working on my relationship, and working through the issues that are putting so much pressure on us at the moment. I gave up playing tennis with him. if you believe you have to tell him exactly as you did here , if your friends you were with are also his say he can ask them . Tell boyfriend another guy tried to kiss me? - GirlsAskGuys He screamed and raged and then left to the lake and sent me a text saying he cannot trust someone who would make an unwise decision like that. My SO and I had been dating two years. you are 18 or older, you read and agreed to the. Me, I can't believe committing adultery isn't an actual crime yet. You drank and you kissed. [2] ..you showed you don't think of he and you as a team by sharing all information pertinent to the relationship; Not Opening Up To You Anymore I'm going to keep my distance from my work colleague and I'm going to ensure nothing like this ever happens again. Because telling him something that you regret and will never do again is doing exactly that. male "Sadly, many people who have a crush on someone else purposely get drunk ". Most people would never confess that's the reality. I think it is a better idea for both of you good luck.do share progress. "and even though he said he immediately pulled away" The straight women in the girls-french kiss-girls video were all shocked at how gentle and 'non-aggressive' female kissers were, in comparison to guys. Should I ask him for gas money? Try to channel the guilt into something good, into turning your back on temptation and having a good night out with your friends. It felt so wrong and taboo yet so erotic and a sort of thrilling jealousy! We have only been seeing each other for the past two months and I dont want his mind racing with bad thoughts. I calmly told him that I wasnt in love with him, but I did feel some attraction and that I accepted the liquor and the kiss because I was curious to find out if there was anything between us. I feel like I am hypnotized by the guy. PS: Don't ever drop it, will you. It's just a "good weekend?" So, you went to a party and everyone was drinking. Free weekly email, Insta, and more - > https://linktr.ee/monogamish_me. And the tricky piece de resistance I'm going to regret what I've done for the rest of my life. I had three For what possible reason? It was just a kiss. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. The straight guys get into it, theres no doubt they even end up biting the LGBT guys. Keep it to yourself. An affair isn't a bad choice made when a married person decides to sleep with someone that they aren't married to. The last person you should be talking to about your feelings of guilt is your partner. (Sorry you got cheated on. We were going through an awkward time in the relationship and I was craving the attention and simplicity of this guy. DON'T: Kiss and tell to someone you're kissing. I had had an argument with my fianc because I found a suspicious text from a woman , he became very mad . Why would you want to do that? So she told him for starters to kiss her well you know where. I said to my husband, I have something to tell you, but I dont know how to say it.. If a man or woman were genuine in asking for forgiveness. I'm not sure if you are trying to be helpful, or just entertaining yourself with your responses. Register in under one minute and get your own agony aunt column - recommended! Your choice, as ever. I practise what I preach, me. Being drunk is never a "reason" for cheating. They say don't tell the wife or husband about the infidelity, because it would cause more hurt. I came home and we resolved it and ever since everything has been fine. I'm going to be the best wife I can be going forward. How can I get over the guilt of kissing another man? - Female First Not just to you. See "The 5 Ingredients of an Effective Apology"; you probably miss at least two of them when you apologize. However, if you kissed someone whom you liked or had a crush on while you were drunk, my opinion is that you cheated. 2023 FemaleFirst Ltd. all rights reserved. Knowing what you value will help you build the most meaningful life possible. But please seperate the issues. JavaScript is disabled. So you went and MARRIED someone who was your best FRIEND, not your already Bam!, Pow!, "oh my god there is a god!" I feel horrible. Your boyfriend may love you so much that he believes you won't repeat the cheating ever again. It didn't feel real. You love your spouse and you want to do your best to be a good partner. My wife wants to leave because of this. Don't feel guilty because you are a mom (or dad) and you feel like you need to be spending time with them. Thankfully, he immediately and apologetically backed right off (which was when we woke this other woman and they both left), and, luckily, put his apologetic money where his mouth was by phoning me the very next day to say how stupid and guilt-wracked he felt, assuring me it would NEVER happen again so could I please forgive him and just forget it ever happened. Youre not homosexual until youre actually attracted to dudes., MORE : Bella Thorne reveals she is bisexual by kissing a girl in surprise Snapchat, MORE : These are the UKs most powerful LGBT people, Doctor explains why some men faint or get nosebleeds when they get an erection, This is the number of sexual partners the average Brit has had, Mum in coven manifests orgasms and schedules sex magick with husband, Post-pill clarity: I came off contraception and didnt fancy my partner anymore, How I Do It: Its empowering to have a guy over and pleasure myself afterwards, follow-up video of straight girls kissing other girls for the first time, Bella Thorne reveals she is bisexual by kissing a girl in surprise Snapchat, These are the UKs most powerful LGBT people, Do not sell or share my personal information. Psychology Today 2023 Sussex Publishers, LLC, Psychology and the Mystery of the "Poisoned" Schoolgirls. He kissed another woman | Talk About Marriage Or do I? Most people don't confess- You ask for advice of what you should do- you got the RIGHT advice. VerticalScope Inc., 111 Peter Street, Suite 600, Toronto, Ontario, M5V 2H1, Canada. Mattia Insolia, Cieli in fiamme (Mondadori) con Valentina Berengo I agree with Vale that the best thing you can do is talk to Cintia about what happened and tell her that seeing her kissing Mercy upset you. True mistakes get owned and rectified. However one night a boy kissed me and I kissed him back. I'm 44 years old and I've been dating a 24 year old for 5 months. Either way, I've noted your comments, I've already decided what I am going to do, and I'll deal with the consequences, whatever they might be. I am giving him space to think. What if she sabotages the relationship through guilt? Personally, I think even innocently returning a kiss is cheating, although Id probably keep it to myself! I totally regret my actions and cannot bear to tell my boyfriend. get into counselling. Sums it up nicely. You can confess to your significant other and accept the consequences, knowing that you might hurt your partner by confessing. I did say gateway to sex at first didn't I. All night I chatted and joked with a group of maybe 10 people, mostly women. Becoz misunderstanding happn somtym and do miracles/ And ya most imp if u both want kids u shud adopt one. That left just me, the man and another woman. In essence . I love your stories, Foxie. Lead to or gateway to, I guess there's a difference. And he kissed me and I reciprocated. I was dating thus guy for 6 months and he stopped calling and texting. I hadn't been out drinking for about 3 months beforehand, so think the excitement of the night, constant glasses prosecco and wine, and the buzz of just being all dolled up all mixed together to see me very giddy and tipsy. After all she did say that the kiss lasted for maybe 5 minutes. Hello, TheBestAdvice: Im glad you thought my post was intelligent and that you could relate to it. No matter how much we insist that "it's all good, bro, we're like, totally homies!", we don't mean it, not really. The planet won't stop revolving around the Sun if you don't tell him. Boyfriend kissed another girl while drunk? Right,undoubtedly you didn't say what Tillybops wanted to hear. A female friend of mine was staying at our house for the weekend. I told him later that I thought it was misunderstood and apologized. It's one of those cases where keeping it a secret would be worse than the transgression itself, especially since it'd be a case of 'the pot calling the kettle black'. He said I was a person and offered to ride me home. Answer (1 of 7): As you have not mentioned your gender, i am assuming you are a girl. Should I tell him I kissed someone else? - by John Grey, PhD ?We were doing well and I was afraid he would never forgive me. in all the years we are together I have never ever done anything like this before, and I can say with confidence I will never allow myself to end up in any situation that could lead to anything even close to this again. female ;-). The next time you saw your significant other you might have blurted out, I have a confession to make. And Brodie groped James. I'll see you over there. If you need help or advice, you can ask Yin & Yang. Itachi, Lees theory can backfire, especially if the person really believes you are talking about someone else and then he/she finds out you are talking about someone that YOU did. You even said it indirectly in your story, when said you decided to get drunk. Talk to her about it and explain to her how it hurt you to see them kissing. Shes said thats it. At least I understood why our marriage failed and no further closure was needed. Whoever did it, doesnt matter. Go cold turkey. Did You Know Anxiety Can Enhance Our Relationships? Similarly, meeting with someone privately and not telling your partner can also be a warning sign that . All Content Copyright (C) DearCupid.ORG 2004-2008 - we actively monitor for copyright theft, Register in under one minute and get your own agony aunt column. But we can get through it together if you are truley remoreseful. response. Press J to jump to the feed. Just my thoughts having been a victim of cheating. The way it happened-not so good! Unless you literally were so drunk that you had no idea what you were doing, it's probably better for you to take responsibility for and own your behavior instead of saying "I got drunk" as an excuse. Arun, I agree with everything you said here because I was guilty of kissing a guy I liked when I was drunk, knowing that I liked him and wanted to see how much.". My eyes were closed and my head was spinning. We lived in a small town at the time, and it felt like avoiding this girl was nearly impossible. SO if you shouldn't, then A) you should be able to tell him, and B) if he's the type to hit the roof over a kiss, he's a wee bit paranoid for his own good, and it wouldn't be *your* fault. It meant absolutely nothing what so ever but to me, I still class kissing someone else, no matter how long or short time, drunk or not, as cheating! New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast. I know I cheated for sure, and thats why I had to confess to my husband that I did it. I think your just another female using your man until a better option comes along your husband should dump you because one of these days your going dump him if he doesnt. SA you have got it- it is more the "what's behind it" than what happened. Lol NOT mentioning it could make you come across guilty. I was dumped.so why do *I* feel guilty? I kissed another guy while drunk. I wouldn't be able to sleep at night. I felt disorientated. female I Feel Guilty About Kissing Someone | Relationship Talk I am 100% sure he will forgive you and will love you even more for telling him (which you should have done A LONG TIME AGO). I am a good person and have never done anything like this before. Kissing someone other than your spouse is cheating. In the end we all do what serves us best But don't shoot the messenger.. Righd AWN, sistah! Guilt is a common feeling of emotional distress that signals us when our actions or inactions have caused or might cause harm to another personphysical, emotional, or otherwise. Anon Pink, 20 ways to speak Love & Admiration to our husbands. Reviewed by Gary Drevitch. Your significant other might get very angry about this, but I believe it depends more on whom you kissed rather than on the fact that you kissed someone else. I speak from experience when I say that when that intimacy starts to die, it can be the start of the end. You wanna tell your husband? I dont know what else to do. female He cared less what families they belonged to if they worked in the same positions, they had the same contract rules to follow. Come join the discussion about love, romance, health, behavior, conflict resolution, care, and more! I really have a problem believing but forgave her and weve been together another 20 yrs now and have 15 grand children hasnt ever really bothered me but about 3 yrs ago it hit me like of bolt of lightning out of nowhere and I cant get that night out of my mind, keep obsessing over what they might have done and how they spent the 4 or 5 hours that they were together outside the venue that night. If you want a relationship then be ready to be trustworthy. I was correct, she struggles with trust. I had a kind of aha reaction because I realized I was attracted to him.