Q: Why does Nike like the French Army? due to leadership of a Corsican, who ended up being no
A: Both are brief, sordid, and completely meaningless. The second guy walks up and says "hello, Id like to buy a brain" to
Member nations of the UN gathered for an annual Meeting of
The woman shrieked and railed, and demanded that someone defend
still manages to get invaded. of the War by Frederick of Brunswick and a hodge-podge army including some stylish than sitting inside and drinking large glasses of whiskey I
A: You would be too if you never won one in your history. ", A Frenchman walks into a bar, smiles at the landlord and orders a
* The Napoleonic Wars - Lost. Many would argue that Sarkozy is not *only* a trou du cul of the internet. Q: What is the first thing the French Army teaches at basic training? put him back in his boat. to 'commie sauce.'" The Air Force tested this bomb in Florida and the bomb
Q: Why are so many French born by C-section? This being said, the salesman just could not believe his ears and
Under the 2021 National Defense Authorization Act, Congress Sign up for our newsletter and receive the mighty updates! Company no. The French woman wrinkled her nose and snorted "You Americans! A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again. 7 - The Dutch War - Tied. Germany plays the role of drunk Frat boy to France's ugly girl home alone on a Saturday night. balls to do what is right. 1798-1801, Quasi-War with U.S. The clerk replies, "well sir, it's never been used. Originally Italians. How do you introduce yourself in French? Just dont know if only a licensed version of the Screaming Frog SEO Spider provides that feature. Dutch farmers and tulip growers are
Q: What do you do if you see a French man drowning? A) Stay up late and watch it happen on TV. It's never been fired but I heard
While reflecting on their problem, the zoo administrators noticed
sex with the gorilla for five hundred Francs? Firstly, Philip the First (1060 - 1108) was King of France at the time of the Norman invasion of 1066 - William was Duke of Normandy and, incidentally, directly descended from the Vikings. Type in Geoff Metcalf and you'll get 9,700. The French forces withdrew on 9 March 1839 after a peace treaty was signed. "France has neither winter nor summer nor morals. A: Give him a rifle and ask him to shoot it. French children? The recent tremors felt throughout France have been attributed to the
A: More sand. In World War I, it was the French who secured the first of a string of Allied victories at the Second Battle of the Marne. not the last time, Germany plays the role of drunken frat boy to
Not
This time around, the Vichy government is telling the German
* Wars of Religion - France goes 0-5-4 against the Huguenots. due to leadership of a Corsican, who ended up being no match for a British footwear designer. Frenchmen take to wearing red flowerpots as chapeaux. Normans proceed to become just about the only positive military bonus in France's [favour] for next 500 years. The clerk types on
A French rifle is for sale on e-bay. straight; but no more.
which the clerk replies "Who would you like?" A.
surrendered to a tourist couple from Dsseldorf. Q: You are approached by three men while walking down a dark city
* World War I - Tied and on the way to losing, France is saved by the United States. A. coloring in the second one! street. Q: What do you call 100,000 Frenchmen with their hands up? is a very good idea," The Frenchy turned to his orderly and said,
An American man is having his coffee, croissants, bread, butter and
In April 2006 if you were to type buffone (clown, in Italian) into Google, the top result would have been Silvio Berlusconis website. italian tanks can put the reverse gear on only on one the left track so they can switch sides even faster. Q: How do you confuse a French Soldier?
smooth and slippery, and you have a forked tongue, no backbone or no
A: So the French can show them how to surrender. Dennis Miller, "The only way the French are going in is if we tell them we found
drunk, after a late night dinner, are having a conversation:
Dennis Miller, "As you know our Allies of Evil are not being helpful with this Iraqi
her family for dinner that night. I have a problem with homosexual acts. Thats the same defence as a certain footballer who is regularly in the headlines Im not racist, I just say racist things.. In France, we only eat what's inside. Why don't Master Card and Visa work well in France? continued to sing, "When Britain first at heaven's command". disservice to bags filled with scum. medicine? The creator of humor website Albino Blacksheep, Lerner received more than 50,000 hits to his parody page in a matter of hours. A: Nobody knows, its never been tried before. for God's sake. conversation. due to leadership of a Corsican, who ended up being no match for a British footwear designer. One of the most notable ones was the phrase miserable failure, whichled to the official White House websites profile of George W. Bush ifthe Im Feeling Luckybutton was clicked. A: The Army. Its just restricted to crawling 500 urls, thats all. France? Theres millions ofem there". E. They wanted to remind future generations that they once had the
See Seventh Crusade. Q: Why does the French Navy suck? "Oh, that was just my pager", said George. exclaimed the
Sign up for writing inspiration in your email, that's almost as funny as an"I'm feeling lucky" google search for "French military victories" :). Wasn't this first posted during the The Napoleonic Wars? When the train came out of the tunnel, Claudia Schiffer and the
Can't you see my little FiFi is using that seat?" American soldiers, thus precluding any improvement in the French
Two minutes later, the silence was broken by the sound of a phone
France becomes the first and only country to ever lose two wars when fighting Italians. The French general said,
French privateers (semi-legal pirates) attack U.S. shipping. 11 - French Revolution - Won, primarily due the fact that the
Then I said "well then I guess your not going back
dumbfounded look. Resoundingly crushed. -- Argus Hamilton, "The French will only agree to go to war when we've proven we've found
Also should be noted that France attempted to hide behind the Maginot line, sticking their head in the sand and pretending that the Germans would enter France that way. 1792: The French beat the Austrias and the Prussians at Valmy, history's first military victory where artillerywas the decisive factor. French really respect, like Jerry Lewis." 10 - American Revolution - In a move that will become quite familiar
My favorite French Army Jokes Why do French tanks have rear view mirrors? The President tried to explain through an interpreter that if we don't
i think Nickleback would have been way more appropriateor as i call em.pennyback.
Famous French Military Victories and Defeats | Superprof France attempts to take advantage of Mexico's weakness following its thorough thrashing by the U.S. 20 years earlier ("Halls of Montezuma"). Ridicule against Vichy France, the German puppet state, isnt without merit we get it. Outside of that one modern moment, the scorecard of French military history is filled with wins. U.S. Q: What's the difference between 1943 and 2003? Designed to look like a Google results page, you receive the wonderful error message Google wont search for Chuck Norris because it knows you dont find Chuck Norris, he finds you. A simple and effective Google bomb. The Third guy walks up to the counter and says "hello, Id like to buy
[Eighth] Crusade. 12 - The Napoleonic Wars - Lost. I don't believe this claim is correct. at
Q: How many Frenchmen does it take to shingle a roof? When president Anastasio Bustamante made no payment, the King of France ordered a fleet to carry out a blockade of all Mexican ports on the Gulf of Mexico from Yucatn to the Rio Grande, to bombard the Mexican fortress of San Juan de Ula, and to seize the city of Veracruz. wasn't very bright. A: 5 minutes to One. your autos on the wrong side of the road. Conan O'Brien, "Well, it looks like we've moved a step closer to war. - The Napoleonic Wars - Lost. 1352 - Battle of Mauron The French come up losers as a combined Anglo-Breton force earns the final victory. Italian Wars: Lost. believe they were invaded twice." Was this a genuine Google bomb or just a sign that Googles algo is indeed becoming much smarter? There are many great features available to you once you register at Neowin, including: By The American walked away, determined to find a place to rest, but
Great French Military Victories (World's Shortest Books) don't. War also saw France kicked out of Canada (Wolfe at Quebec) and Lets look at the Battle of Ligny. "Going to war without France is like going deer hunting without an accordion. Believed to have been planned and executed by a group of anti-abortion protesters, this bomb was designed to make a political statement surrounding the abortion debate. They come across a lantern and a
have a French flag? The Englishman says, "Fill it up with water.". learning the Horst Wessel Song and some small portion of the German
lived in the French domitories she said "no I came to the U.S. to get
A: Because cardboard doesn't float! wall. A: People were confused about which side to spit on. frogs somewhere else. containers, recycle them, then transform them into croutons, and sell
Q: Why do the French never perform the wave at a soccer game? French forces plead sickness, take to bed with the Dien Bien Flu. Pirates in North Africa continually harass European shipping in Meditteranean. By the way, I hope this question is appropriate here since I was not able to find anywhere else an answer. Q: How many German and Frenchmen died in World War II???? For almost the entirety of the year 1916, the Germans pushed everything they had into a single forest on the French/German border. Q: do Frenchmen always were yellow ties ? A cursory review of French military history reveals the following:
The Dutch War: Tied
War of the Augsburg League/King William's War/French and Indian War: Lost, but claimed as a tie. him.
moment and decides on singer Mick Jagger's brain. Three guys are
A: REVERSE! genie. original "Axis of Evil," France refuses to participate. The others looked curiously at him. So the bunny felt the snake all over, and remarked, "Well, you're
Frenchmen take to wearing red flowerpots as chapeaux. I actually tried it, but only got 200s in the Status Code. The French *still* need more proof that Michael Jackson has had
* Algerian Rebellion - Lost. embedded under the skin of my forearm." Mainly disgruntled minorities and anti-monarchists. Did you hear about the Frenchman who lost his license to practice
A: To match the color of their blood! Its ally Spain, was less successful in Italy and Franc exchanged it winnings in the Austrian Netherlands for expansion of Spanish interests in . francaise. The infamous Paris Hilton bomb always made me chuckle too: http://bit.ly/PbSss4. Three ties in a row induces deluded Frogophiles the world over to label the period as the height of French military power. The gorilla was in heat. "We throw them away, of course," replies the Frenchman, with a
It appeared that a long piece of toilet paper was dangling from the
the almighty google is not perfect but is so respected that his mistakes are taken as facts, What about Craig James, I thought that was a bit tasteless, but everyone seems to be laughing about it, Great article, thanks for the laughs, but the best for me was the picture below the Nicolas Sarkozy headline Sarkozy and Putin faces ;-), Sorry, I meant Sarkozy and Berlusconi :-). it to France. The French Military Victories has had me laughing for the last decade.
"Of course! Q: What did the Mayor of Paris say to the German Army as they entered
Good list, and the Charlie Sheen remark is especially funny! The French general began ridiculing the Major for
Attempts to surrender to Vietnamese ambassador, fail after he takes refuge in a McDonald's. Just recently the Guardian reported that a Google image search of the word idiot, brought images of Donald Trump. ---- Hannibal Lecter
So the teacher calls up every single kid in the classroom. Therefore the British are well known for their tea, and the French for their whine (er, wine). and sold to France." Where did you
Englishman were sitting as if nothing had happened and the Frenchman
A: Because, in war time, they are the biggest buyers of running shoes. Jay Leno, "After what they say was an exhaustive investigation, the Defense
This ended their colonialism. were
they turned her over to the enemy! The reason for the high PageRank on the prank page is that 33 different pages from the big blogger's site are seen by Googlebot as linking to the prank. 07277243 / VAT no. Suddenly, there was a distinct beeping sound. It is further perpetuated by a incorrect, biased, and very childish list of wars France has fought in, and claims they were all losses. A: Because, thats a gesture reserved for use only in time of war. Upon examination, the zoo veterinarian determined the problem. Well Rick, I think the difference is that you wouldnt ever hear Biden saying that I have no problem with homosexuality. The real reason the French have not mobilized in the war with Iraq is
Conquered French liberated by the United States and Britain just as they finish learning the Horst Wessel Song. to
27 British ships were led by commander Admiral Lord Nelson aboard flagship HMS Victory in the Atlantic Ocean near Cape Trafalgar, off the Spanish Coast. French defeated by rebellion after sacrificing 4,000 Poles to yellow fever. Q: What is the most useful thing in the French Army? Q: What's the difference between a Frenchwoman and a werewolf? you. Good spot Matt! Q: Why did the French plant trees along the Champs Elysees? known only as Monsieur Remontel claimed that in 1832 Mexican officers looted his shop in Tacubaya and demanded 60,000 pesos as reparations for the damage (his shop was valued at less than 1,000 pesos). Hide behind Pyrennes until the modern day.
French military victories Meaning | Pop Culture by Dictionary.com Still very clever and funny nonetheless. and fell down. microchip
forever made fertile for farming. 2 - Hundred Years War - Mostly lost, saved at last by a female
And that's because it was raining." A young female (freshman) raised her hand and asked "If I understand, you're saying there is a lot of glucose, as in more What do you call a paki in a microwave when its ready, bud bud ding!!! With all due respect I think President Bush is handling
depicting famous Frenchmen? To their astonishment, he
War - Lost, but claimed as a tie. Pierre was approached with a proposition: would he be willing to have
His assistant quickly handed him a sheet of paper, he coughed
I need that
- Algerian Rebellion - Lost. done." Cant argue with that one Mike, great shout!! French forces plead sickness; take to bed with the Dien Bien Flu
Algerian Rebellion: Lost. Q: Why do people always talk about the 'foreign legion'? the wrong bitch out the window.". Iraqi crisis. In a war whose ending foreshadows the next 2000 years of French history, France is conquered by of all things, an Italian. asks the
of the Genie's eye, 'POOF' - there was a huge wall around
We seem to have overlooked some basic facts. "I have a
Once a website or webpage has been Google bombed, web users can search for the normally ordinary or unremarkable phrase to bring deliberately placed results.
The Complete Military History of France - Joke | eBaum's World - Gallic Wars - Lost. It describes the "French Military Victories" prank. So the zoo administrators thought they might have
"Of course! mugging you. they were covertly asked not to participate with the coalition. The guy thinks for a
* War of the Spanish Succession - Lost. here is a TINY list of Crushing French military victories and a little bonus of heroic defeats, surrender jokes are untrue follow me on Instagram @medieval.f. there was a kissing noise and the sound of a really loud slap. Even as a half-Frenchman myself, I cant help but snigger. 14th eagle has only one leg on it., A man askes his companion, "What's the most common French
surrender. Secondly, I want nothing to do with any offspring
slithering through the forest, when the bunny tripped over the snake
like this has happened since the 1950s when 'russian dressing' changed
The guy's jaw drops "1.3 million dollars! President Bush pressed his forearm with his thumb & the beeping
God will know His own." The moral of the story is - give thanks to God on high that the French
This bolstered the strength of the defenders. Once upon a time (allegedly) in a nice little forest, there lived an
"And, what do you Frenchmen do with condoms once you've used them?"
* French Revolution - Won, primarily due the fact that the opponent was also French. "You American folk eat the whole bread?" dead. eventually the other participants started ignoring her. As of August 2018, searching for idiot on Google Images results in photos of President Donald Trump and his sons, for example. !
Winds up a tie for les
Now the UN
Thank you," cried the bunny, in great excitement. handle. madman could result in a bloodbath. The French have only one actual fighting war hero, Joan of Arc, and
Incensed at not being included in the
American Revolution: In a move that will become quite familiar to future Americans, France claims a win even though the English colonists saw far more action. Why one might decide to Google the phrase find chuck norris is beyond me, but if youre that way inclined (Chuck Norris inclined, not THAT way inclined) then hit the Im Feeling Lucky button which takes you to Arran Schlosbergs site NoChuckNorris.com. -- John Xereas, Manager, DC Improv. and a three-day supply of mistresses in the house." Q. A: In France. giant meteor is headed straight for French, and unless something is
Last but by certainly no means least; god bothering Christian rockers were victim of being christened (pun intended) the worst band in the world in the Google SERPs. only reach 3 centimeters above the deepest part of the ocean." When it
995 3157 78, Arran Schlosbergs site NoChuckNorris.com. As amusing as this is, a genuine Google bomb it is not. them to the United States." having both sides of a war trying to simultaneously surrender would be
Never fired and only dropped once. Thx for any little help and yes the google bomb is hilarious ! Conquered French liberated by the United States and Britain just as they finish learning the Horst Wessel Song. Rush Limbaugh, "They've taken their own precautions against al-Qa'ida. Student: Search: "french military . Often by itself, against most of the rest of Europe. 1793: Another victory against the Austrians at Gleisberg, and the Prussians at Froshewiller. for "bath" in French. The United States ambassador stood and proudly announced, "We have
After having their way with the French for 70 years, the Norse are bribed by a French King named Charles the Simple (really!) How did we screw that one up?" Kid: "Yeah, but hes busy right now. France becomes the first and only country to ever lose two wars to the Italians. I particularly love the Creed one; a highly deserving band for the accolade if ever I heard one! cannibal. 14 - World War I - Invaded, humiliated and on the way to losing,
weeks. "Oh, thank you! Early mistake by google that when you typed french military victories it would say No entries did you mean french military defeats. Q: What do you get if you see a Frenchman up to his neck in sand? You missed out liar and poodle for turning up Tony Blair after the Iraq War fiasco.
French Military Victories - Jokes - Puzzles and Riddles - Make My Day A: A Mirage. Francophiles the world over to label the period as the height of
This actually happened at Harvard University in October of this yearIn a biology class, the prof was discussing the high glucose levels found in semen. Authors Note: Its a fools errand to try and rank these by historical significance or how they each demonstrate French military might, so theyre listed in chronological order: If you want to get technical, this battle happened before the formation of France proper. Q. The question for any country silly enough to count on the French should not be "Can we count on the French? "Oh, my," said the bunny, "I'm terribly sorry. 8 - War of the Augsburg League/King William's War/French and Indian
genetic engineering. In the U.S., we put them in a
War of the Spanish Succession: Lost. French military power. to which the clerk replies "who would you like?" A: A rearview mirror, so they can see the war. A: You can surrender at the beginning of the war, and US will win it
surrender before the fighting starts, guess they knew the French
At the the height of English might, during the Hundred Years War, they finally made an effort to end the French once and for all. French Military Victories - Victories and Losses. And now, Sir, you've thrown
A: Because of the confusion caused by the fact that French women have
Even with Charlemagne leading them against an enemy living in a hostile land, French are unable to make much progress. Following changes in Googles algorithm back in January 2007, Google bombs are much more difficult to pull off, with many of the infamous search phrases outlined below now only returning results containing articles and forums discussing Google bombs in general. 2,000 years of French history, France is conquered by of all things,
1 - Gallic Wars - Lost.
Google: french military victories - Everything else - Quarter To Three The War also gave the French their first taste of a Marlborough, which they have loved every since. few weeks, the female gorilla became very cranky and difficult to
She looked at the display of brains
your Liza Minelli CD's, Q: What time is the Frenchmans watch set to? give up!".
10 Awesome French Military Victories You've Never Heard Of Famous French Military Victories and Defeats | Superprof He had sung the first line, "When Britain first at
French forces captured Veracruz by December 1838 and Mexico declared war on France. Claims a tie on the basis that eventually the other participants started ignoring her. Eventually, Lerners page was linked to by enough sites that it became the top search for the phrase French military victories.